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Showing posts from 2012

Finding Sydney's Heart

I guess you could say I am an affectionate mom. My kids and I are very physical and verbal with our love. We say I love you, like a lot. I didn't think I would be this way, I definitely didn't grow up that way. So I probably over do it a bit.It's very lucky for me that my kids suck it up. It's can be slightly weird. I have a love affair with my kids, I mean this in the most pure way. They aren't babies anymore, usually kids this age start to push mommy away right? At least that's what I keep hearing. Thank God no one told my kids.

Summer's an official teenager now. 13!! Yikes right? And she's almost as tall as I am! Thirteen-year-olds are so not into mommy time and snuggles right? WRONG Not mine! At least a couple of nights a week you'll find us snuggled in my big bed pushing my poor hubby to the couch.Heads together, hands intertwined watching a movie or browsing YouTube until we fall asleep her head on my shoulder. She loves it, I live for it. She…

Is It Ever Okay to Settle in Marriage?

Is it okay to settle in marriage? And what does that even mean? I am trying to figure that out.  I have a lot of single girlfriends, many more single girlfriends than married ones. So I am often a source for advice on relationships (although I have no idea why anyone would think I have any idea what I'm doing!) So here goes my take on the subject.

For whatever reason, settling has been a topic of conversation lately. Why? I think when women get to certain age they may start to feel like if they haven't found the one, he isn't out there, so they start changing what they are looking for. Which isn't always a bad thing. I have one girlfriend who always said she would never date a man with children, and she didn't. For years, no amount of convincing could change her mind. After a few unsatisfactory relationships with "unencumbered" men, she found out that some of them can carry baggage a lot more dangerous than a meddling baby momma.  Today she is married to …

It's the first day of school!! How did I do???

How was your summer? I must have asked and answered that question fifty times over the last few days during the countdown to school. And what can I say? It was ....regular.I had my usual high hopes for the summer. Family trips. Gourmet picnics. Lazy Beach Days. Summer play-dates.  Planned educational activities. Making scrapbook worthy childhood memories that my kids would remember for ever. So how did I do? Ehhh...not so good.

I mean we hit the beach..and the parks. And we did a picnic or two although I'm not sure if Lunchables count as gourmet. But for the most part we did a lot of nothing...We slept in ridiculously late and stayed up into the wee hours. We watched hours of Nickelodeon and rented every movie we missed in the last two years. They played video games and I cheered. I played video games and they laughed at me. We blew bubbles in the yard and drew chalk characters on the sidewalk. And after a lazy eight weeks doing Nada, I have to say I am exhausted!!

I was starting …

Before it's too late......

In life and in relationships with your friends and family there are lots of ups and downs. Times when you are close and times when you are distant. Friends have arguments, families have fall-outs, spouses have disagreements.

Most times you make up pretty quickly and then sometimes you don't. And you let some time go by , and you tell yourself I'm just gonna let it cool down. And then life happens and you may tell yourself I'll get to it one day. I'll get to it when I see them again. Or maybe you thought some thing was unforgivable at the time and later you change your mind and you may forgive them in head and heart but you never get around to saying the words. And sometimes there is no disagreement at all, you just drift apart you promise to catch up one day and yet that particular task never makes it to the top of your to do list, because it doesn't seem as urgent as that laundry pile or that important project.

We should always take the position that there may not…

Happy Birthday??? Whatever...

Despite the Hallmark's constant reassurances, birthdays aren't usually all that magical. After 21, I haven't found anything to be really excited about. They aren't sad occasions per say. I don't cry or get tragically depressed. They are just rather blah, like whatever another year closer to menopause. But the last few birthdays have made me rather nostalgic. I don't feel sad so much as disappointed. I started to feel like time is flying past and I have so many things left I want to do and not as much time to do them. I used to feel like, I'll start that novel next year, or finish that screen play in a few months. I'll go on that trip one day, etc. I have time...but do I really? Personally and professionally, I have about a hundred things, I figure do one day.

I know most people use New Year's Eve to make resolutions and major commitments and changes to their lives. But that's awfully generic isn't it? maybe that's why so many people (inc…

Waiting for the Green

A simple foray  into my overstuffed closet to put away laundry triggered some self-realization and has inspired me to make some changes in my life.

As I struggled to make room for the same sweats and shorts I wore last week and will probably throw on again this week, I stopped to admire of many dresses with a tag still attached. It wasn't a recent purchase, I've probably had it about a year. As is my habit, I styled it in my head, recalling some cute wedges I bought last summer that also haven't been worn yet and chunky bangles. I've always done this. I plan outfits, looks, ensembles, down to the eye shadow. But I never wear these stunning creations.Well rarely since becoming a WAHM. But I keep buying. I don't think I'm a compulsive shopper or a clothes hoarder (though Hubby might argue this point). I'm just waiting for the right reason to wear the outfits. I started to straighten up my desk and I see two brochures and applications from two film courses I w…

My Soapy Past...Ode to Soaps

Tonight's premiere of the new Dallas has me nostalgic for my soaps, All My Children, One Life To Live, Dynasty, Knots Landing. Televisions line up is chock full of talk shows and reality shows. They can be entertaining, but it can get tiresome. I miss the days of scripted dramas, with twists and turns and ball gowns with shoulder pads. In honor of tonight's Dallas comeback. I am re-blogging a post I wrote a while ago about my soap love.


   An Ode to Classic Television Soaps and 41 Years of “All My Children”
So, in addition to my many varied entertainment addictions, is my sometimes secret shame.... Daytime Soaps. Yes that's right, I said it. Most people who know me, would call me a TV snob. I'd like to say I'm a connoisseur of sorts. I respect the art of good storytelling and cannot be convinced to watch a show because it's popular, if it's just not there.
This is why I've always found it hard to defend my 30 year love affair with Pine Valley. I mean I…

Super Mom Guilt

In the internal (and sometimes external battle) of Stay at Home versus Work Outside the Home moms. I was pretty sure I had won the war when I became a Work at Home mom. I figured that a flexible schedule and a low minimum of time requirements would allow me to contribute financially to the household, take care of my family and leave some time to pursue my writing. I win right? Umm Nope. I wonder if everyone isn't losing.

When I'm working, I feel like I should be playing with the kids (actually they are standing there telling be I should be playing with them). So I never put in the time I promise myself I'm going to put in. When I am spending time with the kids, my mind constantly wanders to that pile of dirty laundry that's been giving me the evil eye for two days or the scene I promised my writing partner I'd have finished tonight. And if I buckle down to write that scene, I'm haunted by the money I'm not making chasing a dream instead of putting in  hours…

My Life in Films

Films That Remind Me of Childhood

Annie - I was (am) in love with this movie. First, it's a musical, You'll notice this will become a theme. My uncle, my cousins and I would dance and sing the entire movie back to back, much to the chagrin of my mom. I even had the soundtrack album. I seriously considered the benefits of being an orphan

The Neverending Story - I was a total bookworm, so the idea that I could enter into a story and live it and manipulate the characters ( I'm so NOT a control-freak) was intoxicating. I watched it until the VCR tape broke. I still watch it every time it comes on. I tried passing it onto my kids. They like it but they don't love it like I did. Maybe good taste isn't hereditary.


Fame - ( Musical) I wanted nothing more to wear leg warmers to school everyday. I still watch it at least twice a year and feel all sad and has-beenish and yet thrilled to see it all at the same time. However, when I wanted to share it with my kids, I found the ver…

The Giving Tree.... Gives Me A Much Needed Lesson

"The Giving Tree" is one of my favorite children's books. I must have read it a million times to my three older kids over the years, but Spike is just getting into story time so we never read it.

I had mixed feelings when Spike's school announced that the school would be putting on a production of The Giving Tree as a musical. Happy because I love that story and I would get to share it with another one of my children and surprised and worried because his school hasn't had anything like this before and I wondered what it would be like. Let me explain.

While Spike is very verbal and pretty high functioning, at least half of his school's student body is not. He attends a PK-3 all the way through 12th grade special education school. The student's disabilities range from mild learning disorders to kids on the spectrum to blind or deaf and severely physically and mentally disabled children. Please don't get me wrong, the school has been AMAZING for Spike. H…

A Letter to My Younger Self

A recent conversation with a girlfriend led down that oft traveled road of "If I knew then what I know now". Of course hindsight is 20/20 but I started to wonder if I could go back and give myself advice or guidance to help navigate the pitfalls to come, what would I say? After careful consideration, this is what I'd say:

Let's see, I'm sure I would stress the importance of middle school education. I would have to advise myself to least try a little harder to conquer long division and multiplying fractions, because with four kids and their ridiculously confusing homework, Mr. Tang my Math Teacher is clearly having the last laugh.
I would have paid attention to high-school sports a bit more. You'd think as a cheerleader, I might have paid attention to the sports I supported, than maybe I could comment intelligently to my son and nephew about their performances on the field instead of clapping when everyone else does and whispering to my hubby "What just h…

Letting Go of Happily Ever After and Embracing Happy Now

Like most young girls, I was enthralled with romantic fairy tales. Who wouldn't want to have Prince Charming to show up with that glass slipper that would undoubtedly fit just right? Or maybe have him ride up on his noble steed and wake you from some mysterious illness with true love's kiss? These ideas of romantic bliss are drilled into little girl's heads from very early on. There's nothing wrong with fairy tales, they are entertaining and fun and they make great Disney movies.

While I outgrew my princess obsession, I didn't quite give up on Prince Charming. Why would I? Every movie I loved assured me he existed. Of course as I grew up, my ideal prince changed too. So while I didn't expect him to show up at my door with a glass slipper, or rescue me from some isolated tower. I was pretty sure my high school  crush would serenade me with his boombox outside my window like in "Say Anything", or maybe I'd ride off on the back of his lawn mower into…

The Mom Who Does Not Play Well With Others

"Go outside and play with the other kids!" That's something I heard too frequently growing up. They are probably words I hated hearing the most. Way more than " You're grounded" or "No TV", nothing filled me with more dread than that horrid phrase. I was a strange kid I suppose. You see, on stage at a dance recital or in a play, I was at home, I felt good. I felt safe. But eight six-year-olds in Brownie uniforms could induce cold sweats and projectile vomiting. Needless to say, my first Girl Scout meeting was my last.

I don't really know why, I suppose that's a question for a psychologist someday. I do know that I just preferred to be alone. I come from a big family that was very close, with lots of birthday parties, BBQ's and family reunions. I have literally dozens of cousins. So at least twice a month all the families would find some reason to gather all together. Food, Music, Family, sounds great right? Yeah not to me. Why? Because…

Ewwwww I think I love my sister

I don't know when or how it happened but I think my baby sister is my best friend. I know, I know, it makes me nauseous too.

When I was little, and maybe not so little my mom would often have to break up my younger sister and I rolling on the floor, pulling hair and screaming and basically trying to kill each other. When I would try to rationally explain to my family exactly why she was evil incarnate and deserved to die, I would often be met with " One day she'll be your best friend". Let's just say I was pretty convinced otherwise. We had way more than the usual dose of sibling rivalry and although we aren't wrestling over the turkey at the Thanksgiving table anymore (well except for that one time), we still feel the after shocks of those early explosions today. Our journey from sisters to friends is a bumpy and cautious ride. We tread carefully.

My baby sister on the other hand didn't really register on the sibling rivalry scale with me. We are 14 year…

The Girl in the Bubble

For the last three years, I have watched my first born daughter blossom from a child into a young lady. At thirteen she's strikingly beautiful and not in that I'm her mother so I have to say that way, but in that strangers stop me on the street way. And as I've watched her bloom, along with feeling proud I've also been fighting this irresistible urge to lock her in her room, block all technology and home-school her until she's oh, about 25.

It's not because she is some problem child. She's on the honor roll in her gifted classes. She helps out at home. She is loving, affectionate and probably a little too innocent for her age. I bet you're saying if she's such a good kid, why then would I want to lock her up? It's precisely because she's such a good kid! I live in constant fear of someone or something corrupting her.

Last week as is our daily tradition, she curled up in my bed after school to chat about her day as I work. After discussing he…

Lucky

I know I'm married to a good guy. I know I have a good marriage. But sometimes in the crazy pace of life, I forget just how lucky I am. Thank God I am often reminded

My good friend and business partner Felicia came to pick me up on a hectic morning, I was running late and we were behind schedule for an important meeting. As I gathered my things she made small talk with my hubby, who was making breakfast for the kids and starting some of our regular weekend chores. She praised him for being such a good husband and made a mention of how lucky I was, a comment to which at her I rolled my eyes. To my husband I simply reminded him that he forgot again to take out the garbage, and that I would probably kill him if he forgot again. I rushed out to my meeting without giving our exchange a second thought.

However, my friend wasn't letting me off that easy. She is a single mother who constantly struggles with her son's father after a long relationship ruined by his inability to reco…

Trayvon Martin..A Lesson I'm Not Ready to Teach

Like every Black mother who read or watched the story of Trayvon Martin unfold, immediately following the anger, sadness and outrage, I felt fear. That not-so irrational fear of "Will my son be next?".

I watch my nine-year-old running around the backyard pretending to be the hero from whatever new cartoon he's obsessing about this week and I wonder how can anyone think he's dangerous, suspicious? Not my son. But every Black mom thinks, not my son, don't they?

As the story continued to unfold and the media storm reached full crescendo, I knew a conversation with my inquisitive children would be unavoidable. This is unfortunately a required lesson for a male black child. How do you explain the what you cannot understand? How do you make sense of what isn't sensible? I debated on what to tell my very sheltered, very sensitive son. He's one of those children that insist on everything being fair and equal. After all nine is way to young to understand the compl…

Before Autism.....

Before Autism touched my life, I considered myself the kind of mother who pretty much had it together. Before Autism, I worked a full-time executive position, where my obsessive and control freak tendencies served me well. My three children were used to the daily routine of full-time school or daycare. Weaning, potty-training, bedtime issues, discipline, those were things OTHER mothers struggled with, for me it never seemed like a huge deal. I managed to sail through the first 9 years of motherhood without wrinkling my designer clothes, mussing my perfectly relaxed hair, or chipping a french manicured nail. I could never understand what other parents complained about. I was so smug and arrogant. I could not imagine what must go on in the houses of the lady behind me in the check out line with the screaming, rebelling children. I would think to my myself "home girl needs to get it together".

I thought I was done having kids, so my fourth pregnancy was a huge surprise in the m…

SPARKLE - Official Trailer - In Theaters 8/17

I have been debating on whether or not to write a blog for quite awhile. Trying to balance the  having an unrestricted creative outlet I desperately need, against the stress and time constraints of my already hectic life.

I wondered, what would I write about? I decided I’d write about myself because it would be easy,until I tried to figure out which “self” that would be. What story would matter? What would my readers-to-be relate to? Which story could I tell? I have so many and that’s when it hit me! I’ll tell them all.

So what will my blog be about? Love and Marriage. Friendships and Family. Parenting the Gifted Child and the Special Needs Child. My career and my home life. I’ll invite you to peek inside the madness, while I figure out the method.

Let’s go……