My good friend and business partner Felicia came to pick me up on a hectic morning, I was running late and we were behind schedule for an important meeting. As I gathered my things she made small talk with my hubby, who was making breakfast for the kids and starting some of our regular weekend chores. She praised him for being such a good husband and made a mention of how lucky I was, a comment to which at her I rolled my eyes. To my husband I simply reminded him that he forgot again to take out the garbage, and that I would probably kill him if he forgot again. I rushed out to my meeting without giving our exchange a second thought.
However, my friend wasn't letting me off that easy. She is a single mother who constantly struggles with her son's father after a long relationship ruined by his inability to recognize how lucky he was. She isn't the type of girl who minces words at all. And she let me have it with both barrels. First she told me" I need you married women to act right, so us single girls can get a chance, try not to F*#k it up for us!" I tried to laugh it off, but I had to take a step back and look at it from another perspective. She wasn't alone in her opinion, most of my single girlfriends say I'm lucky or admire my relationship with my husband. I wondered would anyone say the same to my husband? I thought about my attitude that morning and a lot of other mornings and had to think, probably not. And just to rub it in further, she says "You don' realize how rare what you have is. You got to marry the man you fell in love with, the man you had children with, the one you actually wanted to marry. Not the man that stuck around, not the man that just happened to have some health insurance, or could maybe help with your bills. You married your dream man, and that's some special shit" Obviously my dear friend has a way with words. But she was right on every count.
As busy moms, we can get so caught up with kids and careers and chores and bills, that we get tunnel vision and forget to glance to the side and see the partner who is always down in that tunnel digging through with us. It's easy to get so caught up in your routine that you take your partner for granted. We need to take some time out to make our husbands feel lucky. Especially if you have a great one like mine.