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Super Mom Guilt

In the internal (and sometimes external battle) of Stay at Home versus Work Outside the Home moms. I was pretty sure I had won the war when I became a Work at Home mom. I figured that a flexible schedule and a low minimum of time requirements would allow me to contribute financially to the household, take care of my family and leave some time to pursue my writing. I win right? Umm Nope. I wonder if everyone isn't losing.

When I'm working, I feel like I should be playing with the kids (actually they are standing there telling be I should be playing with them). So I never put in the time I promise myself I'm going to put in. When I am spending time with the kids, my mind constantly wanders to that pile of dirty laundry that's been giving me the evil eye for two days or the scene I promised my writing partner I'd have finished tonight. And if I buckle down to write that scene, I'm haunted by the money I'm not making chasing a dream instead of putting in  hours at my "real job". And since I am obviously a glutton for punishment, I then start a blog so I can feel guilty about not posting regularly. Oh and I did I mention my parents have started a new family business. How much is it for that cloning thingy? I need like three. After I run on this guilt treadmill for about a week, I spaz out and do nothing for a full 24 hours, which will only give me more guilt fuel for doing nothing when there's so much to be done.

I've seen WAHMs who juggle everything without dropping a ball. How the hell do they do that??? They are scheduled and structured and manage their time all efficient-like. That's how I imagined myself to be. I can barely manage to find time for a shower. I try so hard. I make to do lists, I meal plan, I schedule time for everything and I write it all in my cute way too expensive planner, and I stick to it for 3 days at the most then I can't find the lists, forgo the meal plan for grilled cheese and forget to crack the planner open for days at a time. Then I start all over again at which time I see that I missed my daughter's eye doctor appointment, a writing deadline and didn't send the cable payment.

I'm so tired of being tired, so I promise this to myself today. The guilt stops now. I will not make to-do lists that are longer than my supermarket receipts. I will not flog myself if a Martha Stewart dinner isn't on the table every night. I will not trade sleep for work. I will not expect two novels a month. I will not make activity filled mind stimulating playdates with my kids.

I will do what I can on the list, and give the finger to what I can't. Laundry be damned! When the kitchen starts to look like a prison, I will serve PBJ with a smile. I'll just hang with my kids and veg out. I will write my movie, my novel and this blog, when I feel inspired. And I will sleep, at least sometimes. I will learn how to say No, I can't do that! Even to myself. And I will not feel guilty ( or at least I'm really, really going to try). And now I have to sign off because that evil laundry pile is starting send me death threats.



Comments

Barbara Charles said…
Have experienced this myself. It's hard being a superwoman. Great article. :)
I'm sure plenty of the superwomen you see around you making it look so effortless are feeling the same way you do. You only ever see a snapshot of other peoples lives.

Why not check out my website working-freedom.co.uk I coach time-stretched work at home mums so that they can leverage the little time and resources they have and grow their businesses. There's an ever growing list of articles including time-management strategies, marketing on a budget etc
Unknown said…
You go girl!! Nobody has it all together and if they do , I bet they aren't as much fun as you are!!!!! Loved the post. Keepin it real girl!!
Very much how I've felt since leaving my traditional job to do what I do now. I think taking those days off from everything is necessary. My sanity would be lost if I didn't.
Unknown said…
I hear you! I work out of the home and although I'm currently on maternity leave, I recall the "balancing act". No easy, that's for sure!

Remember, no one's "got it all together" - there's always something that gives (you may just not be aware of it).

Thanks for sharing!
I think all moms feel the guilt no matter what :p. I was a working mom, now I'm a sahm so now I'm home but busy with the house. New follower from MBC
Kat said…
Hello! Following you from Welcome to the Weekend blog hop! Looking forward to reading more! Would appreciate the follow back!
Have a great weekend!!! :)
-Kat

http://mom-uncensored.blogspot.com
Unknown said…
Hi, I just hopped over from the Welcome to the weekend bloghop. I know what you mean about always being pulled in every direction! Glad you sorted it out in the end...it is no fun being Super Mom for sure!
Amy said…
I SO hear you on this! I grapple with this "mommy guilt" all the time, even more so that I am home and trying to make a go of a home business. I look around at some of these so-called "Supermoms" and I've come to realize it's all crap. As in, there's no freaking way they are as perfect as they seem. And they aren't. I'll bet you look like an amazing perfect supermom to others, and they're wondering How Does She Do It? We're all just trying to keep it together, and are always walking that thin insanity line. I have such respect for the mom's who can admit that IT'S HARD, THIS SUCKS SOMETIMES... and power through despite it all. Cheers to you on keeping it real. :)

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