I Just Want to Be Superwoman

As I celebrated a friend's upcoming nuptials at her bachelorette pool party, she jokingly asked for advice and wisdom before jumping the broom. To my defense, we had just done about 6 shots out of penis shaped shot glasses and I was not in shape to advise anybody about anything. Except on the dangers of mixing tequila and champagne. (Don't judge us, you don't know our lives) But now that I've had time to think about (and sober up) I decided to share with her and all y'all 12 Lessons I've Learned From 12 Years of Marriage. 1. Maintenance Matters-  When you buy a new car or a new home, you expect to put time, effort and money into keeping it running well. Something breaks, you fix it, a pipe bursts and you replace it. You take your car for regular tune-ups to keep everything in working order. These aren't the most pleasant of chores, but we do them because we want the pleasure of living in a nice home and riding in a nice car. Guess what? Your marri...

In honor of Autism Awareness Month, I want to take some time out to do this favor on behalf of parents of ASD kids everywhere. MY ASD baby, Spike was diagnosed very early, at 2 years old. I was so overwhelmed in the beginning. I had so many new medical terms, symptoms, and procedures to learn in addition to the emotional strain of learning I would now be parenting a special needs child. I had a whole lot to learn and no time to do it. It was rough. In hindsight, I’m sure friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers had just as many questions and concerns. In hindsight, I’m sure most of their comments were innocent and well meaning. However, I have spent many moments fuming with anger, hurt or exasperation due to ignorant, insensitive, or rude comments and questions made to me about my ASD child. In the hope that I can save some other parents and well-meaning friends and family some hurt feelings and embarrassment. I have compiled 10 Things You Never Say To The Mom of An Auti...

You spend 9 months expecting a baby and you are pretty much aware of what comes with it. You read the baby books or in my case you rely on the experiences you gained from your previous children. You are pretty much ready and resigned to all that is coming, Sleepless nights, sore breasts, exploding diapers, teething toddlers. These are phases, though. Tough times with a tangible end in sight. You can always say I can't wait until he can sleep through the night, feed himself, use the potty. 8 years ago when I gave birth to my last child, he wasn't the only new addition to our family. He brought an uninvited guest. His guest was unannounced and took very little time before making his presence known. In the beginning, the guest was very loud and obnoxious, he always made his presence known. In his phobia of strangers. His crankiness in bright lights or loud noisy areas. His aversion to certain textures. His inability to be soothed. As a toddler, he grew with you into your obs...

Yes, I know I haven't posted in many, many months, but we will deal with that later. There is something so pressing and so heavy on my heart and mind that I needed to address it here, in this space, where I am a Mommy first. I know we have all seen the video of the Spring Valley student slammed to the ground and literally dragged like a rag doll out of her classroom. This blog isn't even about that. As disgusting and criminal (Yes I said criminal) as his actions were, he's not why I'm here to vent. I am appalled NO horrified and disappointed and disgusted by how many responded to that video with, "But what did she do? or We can't see what she did before? Or well why didn't she just leave the class or give up the cell phone"" Black parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles all actively LOOKING for a reason to blame this child for this man's horrific violence and contempt towards her. As if there HAS to be another reason for a white police office...

It's that time of year. Art Basel will descend on Miami next month so get ready! With events jam-packed from December 2nd to the 7th, it's hard to know which are the hottest shows attend, Luckily my new publication BOSSY is to the rescue. BOSSY invites it's readers to check out Art Basel - One to Watch- Troys Simmons. Local artist Troy Simmons has immersed himself in his latest artwork, exploring the evolution of urbanism and nature’s persistence to coexist. A consistent theme, which echoes true to his intense fascination with nature and modern Brutalist Architecture. Under the direction of JanKossen Contemporary Art Gallery in Basel, Switzerland, Simmons will showcase his new concrete work during a solo show at CONTEXT Miami Art Fair December 2nd-7th at booth #E75. He will also have several pieces on display at SCOPE Art Show Miami Beach. His massive, large-scale concrete canvases are a mix of acrylic paints and raw materials. At first ...

This crazy journey into Autism has had more than one surprise along the way. Ever since the first diagnosis, there has been one curve ball after another. After first learning that Spikey was on the spectrum and then every other twist and turn, from doctors, schools, therapists and Spike himself has been a continuous roller coaster ride. It can start to feel like you are holding your breath waiting for the other 10,000 shoes to drop. Presently though, we are at a time where everything is copacetic. By this I mean,  I basically know where we stand. He currently likes Sponge Bob and will recite an episode word for word. He will vomit if he even thinks he ate a vegetable. He will spin and and rock if he gets overwhelmed. He loves his routine. Even when he has meltdowns, I am somewhat prepared, I can basically see them coming. I know his triggers and try to navigate accordingly. Despite this, he is doing extremely well. He is in a mainstream class, and he's down to 2 therapists a ...

So I decided to be grateful daily but talk about it weekly. Not because I'm lazy (well not totally) but because I'm so crazy busy lately, which is one of the things I'm grateful about. In my grateful project, I'm trying to train myself to be grateful in every situation even when it's not my natural primary emotion. So here goes: This week; I am grateful for the drop in temperatures, I'm sure the rest of the world might not agree, BUT here in south Florida the land of almost never ending summer. these 70 degree mornings and late evenings make me feel like a parolee out on a furlough I am grateful for the success and growth of my two new businesses, My Magazine BOSSY! and my networking group BOSS MOMS . I am grateful that I was brave enough to put my my ASD kid on a mainstream Tee Ball team and that he's thriving and having fun. I'm even grateful for the mini heart attacks I have every time he's up to bat. He has only had two tiny meltdown, I...

Actually I have no idea, if it's really gratitude month, but it it is for me. I'm going to find something to be grateful for everyday until Thanksgiving. I'm trying to expand the practice of gratefulness in my everyday life, as a buy mom and businesswoman. You have a tendency to get bogged down in the everyday. I can spend a lot of time pursuing future successes instead of celebrating every day ones, I am promising myself to notice all the beauty, wonder and all around awesomeness in my own life everyday. I tried this once and I failed miserably, But this time I'm ready. Yeah I know it's 4 days in and I'm already late But it's cool because I have 4 things to be grateful for already...So here goes. 1. As it's November 4th Election day for midterms, I'm grateful for the right to vote. I exercised my civic duty muscles today and it felt good to do my part. 2. I am grateful that Spikey participated in Halloween this year without any major hitches. M...

As a mom-preneur who works full-time and juggles the lives of four children and a husband, finding time for myself is a small challenge. Who am I kidding it's a HUGE challenge. I used to end every day feeling worn out, unproductive and overwhelmed. My to-do list was never ending. And even though I was always busy, I never felt like I accomplished as much as I needed to. I had to make decision to jump off the hamster wheel. I had to start reclaiming my time. You can too. Here's my  Top 3 Tips for finding some time for YOU! Tip # 1 Give up on Perfect and Learn to Prioritize I used to try to everything perfectly. I thought if I could serve perfectly executed gourmet meals to perfectly behaved children in perfectly decorated home, that my life would be well, perfect. I figured that a lot of the pressure I was feeling was coming from within. That all changed when I stopped competing with myself. I had to learn to prioritize. I don't mean just putting your to-do list in...

I was selected by Sverve and Kids Academy Apps to Review the following Learning Apps from Preschoolers: Learn To Read & Write Kid’ Puzzles  I kept both my four year old niece and my 6 year old ASD son occupied and happy with this app during a busy day full of errands. Although it was more of a review for the 6 year old, he loved it and who couldn't use help with their handwriting. The four year old got the most “learning” use out of the app a she has just started Pre-K, she loved tracing the letters and both kids loved the dog playing in the maze. The graphics are bright and engaging and it may become a favorite for kids and myself. Preschool & Kindergarten Learning Kids Games Free For Toddlers and Preschool Children  This app was more appropriate for my younger nieces and nephews. So I let them go at it. They loved catching the fireflies and tracing the numbers and letters. Since they are just starting out in school, this is a great tool for enric...

This post is a plea to white moms. The ones I wave to in the carpool line and serve with on the PTA. The ones I casually chat with at school orientation and in the stands at baseball. The one sitting next to me last week at the playground while we discussed affordable aftercare and food allergies. I know all parents have some parental duty that they hate. Many parents don't like diaper duty, or doctor's visits or PTA meetings. But we do it anyway. Most parents dread that nightmare-inducing birds and bees conversation. These are universal parental concerns that cross all class, race and gender divides. However as much, as I'd like to ignore it, there are certain parental responsibilities that are unique to me as the mother of  black boy. All though our children live in the same neighborhood, have been classmates all their lives and play videogames and Little League together, they're not the same. Their experiences as they grow into young men will be vastly different. T...

Dads of Disability is a collection of essays, poems and stories by and about Dads and how they cope with being a father to a disabled child. These stories were collected and edited by Gary Dietz, also a father to a disabled child. Author's Synopsis- "  This is not a 'how-to' book or a book of '5-ways to do this' or '10-ways to do that.' Rather, this collection uses a storytelling approach to illuminate the emotional lives of these fathers. Dads of Disability will begin or extend the conversation between and amongst fathers, mothers, extended families, care circles, and individuals with disabilities themselves. This  book is for fathers and mothers. For friends and support circles. For care professionals. For teachers. For friends trying to understand their neighbor's challenges. For anyone interested in the variety of the emotional lives of fathers whose children experience a disability. " Each essay or poem gives an in depth ...

This is a question that has been asked by many a couple in trouble. I've been asked personally and have even asked the question about my own marriage from time to time. Every marriage goes through tough times. Mundane disagreements aren't a reason to consider divorce. Sow how do you know if your marriage or relationship is entering the danger zone? While there are huge red flags like abuse, addiction, and serial cheating that warrant an intervention, a lawyer, a doctor, or a priest (maybe all three), there are some times when the situation is a bit more subtle. Here are some telltale signs that you should watch for. You don't talk anymore. I don't just mean you're giving the silent treatment. after an argument. I mean are you talking about your day, your job, friends your feeling. Are you talking about your marriage? Are you sharing your dreams and your fears? Or are you just talking about who forgot to take out the trash and who's turn it is to carpool? A la...