I am a walking contradiction. I am a cursing, swearing, god-loving,ballet dancing, hip-hop bopping, Anais Nin reading, reality tv addicted, tattooed, Prada and Puma wearing, PTA mom of four amazing, insane kids and devoted wife to an infinitely patient husband. I just don't fit into anyone's box.
Despite the Hallmark's constant reassurances, birthdays aren't usually all that magical. After 21, I haven't found anything to be really excited about. They aren't sad occasions per say. I don't cry or get tragically depressed. They are just rather blah, like whatever another year closer to menopause. But the last few birthdays have made me rather nostalgic. I don't feel sad so much as disappointed. I started to feel like time is flying past and I have so many things left I want to do and not as much time to do them. I used to feel like, I'll start that novel next year, or finish that screen play in a few months. I'll go on that trip one day, etc. I have time...but do I really? Personally and professionally, I have about a hundred things, I figure do one day.
I know most people use New Year's Eve to make resolutions and major commitments and changes to their lives. But that's awfully generic isn't it? maybe that's why so many people (including myself) relapse into old behavior so quickly. I've decided to use my birthday from now on to review and renew my own life. After all that's a day that's really about me! A day to explore where I've been and where I'm going and if I want to change course, what better day to start!
So for this upcoming birthday and all the rest to come, (July 11th, send presents!!) I am going to celebrate myself, my birth and rebirth. Make my personal new year's resolutions, because hey it's my new year! So I'm working on a list of birthday resolutions.... what I want to have accomplished before I am thirty-mindyabusiness years old. This feels so much more personal and doable than that New Years Eve, lets go on a diet/workout more/save more money /follow your dream bull.
So what am I resolved to do? I dunno, probably go on a diet, work out more, save more money, and oh yeah follow my dreams. Don't judge me...